So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
