i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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