I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
