Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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