I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
