So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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