do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
