tell your sister to shave her snatch
Its about making memories worth repressing
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
