He had one of those small greek statue penises
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
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