You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
