he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
