3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
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