I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
