she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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