Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I didn't notice because vodka
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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