Me. At least after what I've been through.
operation harelip BJ is a go
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
