whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
