almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
