Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
