my mouth tastes like poor choices
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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