He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Randomize
