the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
