Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
