hell yes lets make some ravioli
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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