I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
