So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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