she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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