all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
