what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
