That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
