Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
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