butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
