i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
