I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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