I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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