Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
