508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
