Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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