Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Randomize
