it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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