my vag is so smooth its legendary
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
