just survived the first fart of the relationship.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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