i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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