i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
