fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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