i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
