honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
