he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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