I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
