so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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