belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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