new low.... made out with someone while peeing
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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