I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
