Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
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